The dictionary definition of "resilient" is “something that is strong and not easily damaged by being hit, stretched, or squeezed”. 

Let's start with what that might mean to us. Something a great mentor once shared with me is the following statement: "staying down is a luxury we cannot afford". The important word here is we; he didn’t say you cannot afford. He led by example and over the years has shown great resilience in all his personal and professional dealings. Managers who inspire us are invaluable. They can motivate us to be the best version of ourselves and help us to perform at our peak.

I have changed how I react to the world around me. That change has affected how I feel about myself and has therefore made a positive impact on my well-being.

One may ask, “what’s the difference between people who instantly GET UP after challenges/difficult experiences, and those who just GIVE UP and stay down”?

Successful people have the ability to bounce back from whatever has hindered them; their personal resilience positively shapes their future work satisfaction and well-being, and this has been demonstrated by so many in the NHS over and over again during the last 18 months.

Having to adapt to very challenging situations has been tough for so many. Some managers are sharing openly that it’s their networks, their relationships, and their own attitude to this unprecedented crisis that has helped them rise and step up repeatedly.

Relational sources of resilience are crucial. It’s more than just being hardwired to cope—the interactions you have with one another are key to getting through the ever-changing landscape within the NHS, particularly now.

Innovation is key and becoming stronger at coping with change is vital. Alongside this is the invaluable support that stems from those around us, who help us to step up. They capture the vision of the future and run with it—and importantly—run with us.

Our resilience motivates us to have meaningful dialogue and form a common purpose to move forward. Then we’re able to carve out a path through the many holdups and setbacks that can present themselves.

I am very proud of colleagues who have worked tirelessly throughout recent months and faced their struggles head on. I am a firm believer in Connections and reliable networks, and the chart below is my go-to guide when setbacks happen and I need to bounce back quickly. In fact, there’s a lot of research out there relating to this often unspoken topic. 

Our environment, support circles and cultural expectations are equally important, as are our personal strengths. As resiliency researcher Elliot Friedman says;

“The availability of social support in all its forms—instrumental support, emotional support, support with how you think about things—they all matter and help us in facing challenge.”

Though we may think it’s easier to change ourselves when it comes to facing adversity, research suggests that positive relationships and supportive environments have an important role to play too.

The following may help you to identify areas that are important to you.

Relational sources of resilience are crucial 

Here are some questions you can ask yourself, remembering that having a good circle of relationships can help with the repercussions of setbacks. Go through the list below and see if you fall short in any given area.

It’s good to have people who work with you to solve the issues that may arise in your personal life and your work life.

All of us could present a case for loss in this world.  Loss of job, loss of health, loss of promotion, loss of a home, loss of a loved one, loss of vision, loss of direction, loss of perspective etc.  There are so many losses we could name, including those of mental health and well-being; remember that adversity does not discriminate. In fact, it’s at these times that we are all tested fully. What do we need at times like these?

Strategies for resilience

I believe there are ways and strategies that can help you to be resilient. My top three include the following:

1. Resilient people know for sure that STUFF happens! They know that suffering is part of life and when the tough times come, they know that it’s time to change gear yet again and either sink or swim.
2. Resilient people know where they will use their Resource of Focus. They can appraise quickly, identifying the things they can change and those they cannot. We can learn this, and it’s a strategy that’s vital to resilience. It’s interesting how people focus on negatives and not the positives in situations. This worked well from an evolutionary perspective as our stress responses to threats needed to be sharp, but it’s not always helpful for us now. Resilient people don’t lessen the negative, but they tune into the good in any given situation—they decide to find benefits and things that they are grateful for. Focus your attention to what is good, and what’s achievable that day. Make a journal each day so that when you look back you will see the good stuff. Be intentional about this discipline.
3. Resilient people will ask themselves (and this is vital for well-being), “is what I am doing helping or harming me?” Be kind to yourself after the news of a redundancy, the breakup of a relationship or the loss of a loved one. Take the control back—after all, resilience requires ordinary processes that need to be tried and tested. Just give them a go, lean into the strategies and continue to move forward.

Be the authentic you.

Hope to be back soon.

Charan Sarai